THE GENERAL SYNOPSIS AT FIVE TO MIDNIGHT
Diesel
Rising
Greggs
Falling
Downing Street
Visibility decreasing, outlook hysterical
Electorate
Depressed
North UK
Rockall
South UK
Affluent, backing Tory
Maude
Effluent, deepening rapidly
Cameron
Fog
Dogger, Fisher, German Bite
Clapham Common, Grimsby, Sauerkraut, intermittently Merkel
Sausagepastie
Soggy, wind 5 or 6, decreasing later
Ginsters
Lukewarm
Voters
Poor, veering left
Bradford
Turning Galloway, becoming bonkers
amuzenewz 